I Couldn't Be Without You
by emogirlS2
Summary: He couldn't be without her anymore, he couldn't. He had to be with her again. He had to try. EdwardXBella Rated M for mature content.


**Hello my lovely readers! I decided to write this one shot for one main reason. In a lot of Twilight fan fictions that I read, Edward comes back because something terrible happened, or is going to happen to Bella. They always say that he was going to come back anyway, so I decided to write a fan fiction where he just gave up and came back to her because he wanted too. I just randomly came up with this so I hope it's not too awful. Enjoy! Oh! And please go check out my other Twilight FanFic called The Meadow!**

**Disclaimer- **I do not own Twilight or any of its characters.

**I Couldn't Be Without You**

Time is passing by, but it has no meaning to my existence. Nothing in this world has meaning to me anymore. The reason for my existence I left behind in hopes for the better of it. I had chosen to leave it, to leave her, with a simple goodbye and the promise to never return and allow her to live the life she was meant to live. There was nothing that could hurt me now, or give me any satisfaction. I walked around as an empty shell, never enjoying the things that I did. I feel so numb, deathly numb. I forget to breath, forget to exist.

There were quiet humming's of happy memories fluttering around in their new lonely existence. I watched them move around the empty spaces that was my mind. All these memories were locked tightly away. Shut away behind an unbreakable barrier, for all my happy memories all seemed to revolve around her, my love, my Bella.

I thought that if I could shut out the world, I could let Bella go the way I had intended. My world grows darker and darker at the feeble thought I gave myself that I could live a life without Bella. But just thinking of her seemed to put a crack in the barrier that I have put up, letting a bitter sweet memory of her leak into the center of my hallow thoughts.

In the depths of my mind I picture myself standing in front of the barrier. All my memories of Bella, every moment we had shared floated behind the wall as a shining light, begging to be released. I reached for the wall and watched in amazement as the lights seemed to reach out to me in return. I rested my palm against it, watching as the lights tried to reach my hand, pushing with all there might against the unbreakable wall. Why could I not let this wall down? Why couldn't I let them free? I had done this to myself. Why should I be a coward and allow myself to hide from the memories, the emotions they would bring back? The answer seemed to come up and slap me with a force I had never felt before. It was because I knew that if the wall were to give way, I would return to her.

Despite myself, my dead heart jumped at the thought of returning to her. I pictured her face, the way she smiled whenever I came into view. The way her cheeks would turn the most attract shade of red when she became flustered around me. And most of all, the scent she carried. I could still smell her perfect scent, like flowers, only much more potent to me. The vision of me slammed his fist against the wall, causing it took shake and buckle underneath the force. He seemed to loose himself and smashed his fist against the mall repeatedly, breaking off little shards with each impact.

'_Stop it!' _I called to him. He ignored me, smashing at the wall as hard as he could. I watched helplessly as the wall fell piece by agonizing piece around me. When the wall was halfway down, the balls of lights washed over the side like a tidal wave, crashing into me, destroying the remainders of the barrier as they came.

Everything that the wall held back crashed into me mercilessly. Every feel, every touch, every kiss flooded my mind so much that my body began to shake with the overpowering need to be with Bella. I couldn't hold out any longer, I had to be with her. I had to try. I would beg her to take me back if I had too, and if she had moved on, I would lurk in the shadows till the day I could make my move once again.

I was out of my room and down the stairs in an instant. Alice was waiting for me at the bottom. I took the duffle bag from her outstretched hand as she smiled at me. "I knew you'd do the right thing eventually, Edward. It's okay that you took six months to do so." She said grinning. I nodded to her before stepping around her. The rest of my family was waiting for me by the open door; no doubt Alice had already told them what was happening.

Esme pulled me into a warm hug for a minute before letting me go.

"Call us if you need us, my son." Carlisle said, pulling me into a quick hug.

"Yeah, call us when we can finally go home. Italy isn't as cracked up as they say it is." Emmett said, laughing is boisterous laugh.

Esme shot him a warning and gave me a last goodbye before I bolted out the door.

---------------------Line Break--------------------

The trip from Italy to Forks was agonizing. The plane ride being the worst. It felt like the plane could sense that I was in a hurry and was moving slow just to torture me. There were times when I wondered if it would have been faster just to run. Flying the plane myself also crossed my mind but it would cause to much suspicion. Beside, if I wanted to do that the pilots would have to be taken care of.

Once the plane landed in Forks I was out of the airport and running towards Bella home in an instant. I forced my feet to move faster as I came closer and closer to the house. Her scent hit me hard once the house came into view. Charlie's police car was gone but Bella's faded red truck sat in the driveway. I moved to the side of the house where Bella's bedroom window was located. I hesitated for a moment, doubt starting to set. What if she had moved on? What is she was with someone else? What would I do if she rejected me? My heart ached at the possibility, but I knew I had to try.

I scaled the side of the house effortlessly and peered into her bedroom window. The room was empty, but it looked exactly the way it did before I let. The door was directly across from the window with the closet to the right of the door. Her bed was to the left and the desk with an old fashion computer sat to the right of the door. The room was perfectly clean except for the unmade bed. I opened the window quietly and stepped inside, shutting the window behind me. Her scent intensified the further into the room I got. My mind hadn't served the smell any justice. It was so intoxicating. The burning in my throat flared up but I pushed it aside. There were more important things to worry about.

'_Where is she?' _I thought. I glanced at the clock on the bedside table. It read half past six. '_What was she doing up so early on a Saturday?'_ I walked to the bedroom door and peered outside into the hall. The bathroom door was open down the hall, shining a light across it. There was a faint noise coming from inside and I quietly made my way to the door.

My already dead heart froze.

Bella sat crumpled on the bathroom floor. She was curled in on herself, but I could see that she looked very unhealthy. She was deathly pale and the towel she had wrapped around herself did nothing to hide how skinny she had become. Her hair was still damp from her shower but even it seemed to have lost its luster, its shine. Her brown eyes had slight rings around them and she had tears streaming down her frail looking cheeks. My heart sank into a bottomless pit knowing that this is what I had done to her. How could I have been so stupid? How could I have thought that leaving her could possibly help her? She whimpered my name over and over, not aware of my presence. I wanted to crawl away and rot for the things that I had done to her. I could never possible make up for my wrongs, but I would spend the rest of my existence trying.

I wanted to hold her. Tell her that I was here and was never going to leave her side ever again, but I didn't know how to approach her. What would she do if she saw me? How would she react? Would she even want me here?

All the emotions running through me were more than I had ever experienced before and my knees buckled under me, sending me crumpling to the floor. I had never felt this way before. The want to be with Bella, to tell her that I loved her, to hold her, be with her, but also not knowing if it were right for me to be here, or even if she would accept me. The sudden break in her sobs made me look up.

Lost in my own thoughts I forgot that I was supposed to be out of her sight. She was gazing shell shocked at me through teary eyes. Some many emotions played across her face that I couldn't pick out just one. Shock. Pain. Happiness. Pain. I couldn't tell which was more dominant, but she seemed to be having a battle within herself. It looked as though she thought she was hallucinating, imagining my presence.

"Bella." I spoke quietly. She jumped a little at my voice but I saw something flash in her eyes.

"E...Edward, is that you?" She asked her voice breaking.

"Yes, Bella, love, its me."

"What are you doing back here?" She made no move to come closer, tears starting to fall harder down her pink cheeks.

"I couldn't be without you anymore Bella. I need you. I was foolish to believe that leaving you would help you. I was only thinking about protecting you from my world. I was convinced that being with me was doing you more harm than good. When James tried to hurt you, that was one thing, I was able to let it go, but when Jasper took a snap at you, I had to leave. But that was wrong of me. Being away from you is so painful. These past six months have been pure torture without you. Every minute of every day I fought the urge to com back to you. The only thing keeping me away was thinking that you were better off." I pleaded with her to understand, moving closer so that I was just an arms length away. I could still see doubt in her eyes and my heart sank. How could I make her understand?

"But you said that you didn't love me that day. You said you were leaving because you didn't love me anymore." There was so much pain in her tone from the memory of the day I left her in the woods that I felt like I was being shredded into a million breakable pieces.

"I only said those awful things so that you would let me go. I knew that if I told you I didn't love you, you wouldn't try to stop me. It hurt me to tell you that I didn't love when I still did. Part of me wanted you to call my bluff so that I would have a reason to leave. But one look into your eyes, and I knew you believed every word I said to you. Because you believed me, I left, taking my family with me to sever all ties you had with us and our world." I moved so that I could gently cup her face in my hands. "I still love you, Bella. I came here because I couldn't' be away from you anymore. I want to be with you forever. I'll stand by your side and protect you for the rest of my existence. I love you, Bella." I brought her face to mine and kissed her lips gently. They were soft and warm against mine and a sense of wholeness washed over me. I was about to pull away when I felt her push into me. Her lips responded to mine and I couldn't help but to be overjoyed.

I pulled her into my lap, nibbling her bottom lip. She eagerly parted her lips enough for me to slip my tongue in. I moaned into her mouth. It was so warm and inviting. I had missed her taste so much and I took what I could get hungrily. She pressed closer to me, tangling her fingers into my hair. I could feel our bodies becoming heated but I was powerless to stop. I picked her up and carried her back to her room, laying her on the bed before crawling over her.

I kept as much of my weight off her as I lay atop of her. I captured her lips with mine again, unable to keep away from her. She responded eagerly again, moaning deeply into my mouth. I broke the kiss to trail down her jaw and neck, leaving wet marks as I went, stopping where her towel was just above her breasts.

"Edward." She moaned, arching into me. I hissed as she brushed against my ever growing arousal. My control was slipping and I was becoming entranced by her obvious arousal. The smell coming from her core was absolutely divine. I had never smelt anything more appealing.

"Edward…please" She moaned again, arching her body into me further. I tried desperately to fight against the monster inside me. The only thing separating me from Bella's body was the thin towel she wore, something that could easily be discarded without a second thought. I tried to reason with myself. '_You could hurt her. Stop this!' _Despite my inner warnings I couldn't bring myself to stop. I had been away from her too long. I had to have her, but I wouldn't hurt her. I could control myself that much.

With a low growl I ripped the towel from her body. I gasped at the sight before me.

Bella was more beautiful than I had ever imagined. She was perfect in every way. Her legs were long and thin, she had curves in all the right places, a flat stomach, perfect breasts, and the most beautiful blushing face I had ever laid eyes on.

"Edward." She said embarrassed, trying to cover herself. I growled, pulling her arms away. "Don't ever cover yourself from me. Your beautiful, Bella."

I took her lips again, tangling our tongues together before trailing my kisses down her neck. My hand wandered down her shoulder to caress her right breast. I squeezed it gently while rubbing my thumb over her nipple, letting it harder under my touch. I brought my mouth down over her other nipple, swirling my tongue around it before taking it into my mouth. She moaned at the sensation, tangling her fingers back into my hair. I could smell her wetness growing and I knew that I wouldn't be able to hold out much longer. I released her breasts and chuckled at her whimpers from the loss of contact, to quickly remove my clothing.

I spread her legs apart and trailed kissed down her stomach and thighs, avoiding her center. "Edward…please don't…tease me." I chuckled but gave in to her request. I lapped at the sweet nectar coming from her core and her taste exploded in my mouth. I instantly wanted more and I took her into my mouth. She gasped and arched her back as I flicked my tongue over her clit. I sucked it into my mouth and nibbled it gently. "Oh Edward!" She cried out as she arched her back higher, her release exploding into my awaiting mouth. I drank her happily, not sparing a single drop.

She pulled me back up by my hair, crushing our lips together. Her tongue explored my mouth, tasting all of herself. It was enough to drive me crazy and I had to have her. I needed to be inside her heavenly folds. I broke our kiss to rest our foreheads together, positioning myself at her entrance as I did so.

"Bella, are you sure about this?" I asked, cupping her cheek in my hand.

"Yes, I want you Edward, I've always wanted you." She smiled at me lovingly before kissing me gently on the nose.

I kissed my way from her abdomen to her perfect lips. Our tongues swirled and teased each other as I rested myself between her thighs. I pressed against her warmth, releasing some pent up desire that had been burning deep inside me for so long as I rubbed my hands along her inner thighs.

My lips left hers breathless as I kissed down her throat passed her collar bone and came to the most exquisite breasts ever imagined. My hand caressed one with slow gentle movements while my thumb rubbed over her hardened nipple. Cupping her again my lips took over pleasuring her from my thumb; Bella's gasps grew louder as she arched her body into me. My tongue flickered over the tip while my fingers released her breasts and traced a trail down her waist, leaving a red hot trail in their midst.

Over her hips to her thighs my fingers tantalized her soft velvet skin. I slid my fingers to her waiting center to find her womanly warmth offered the juices of her folds, enticing me to enter. My mouth captured the flower of her breast tenderly with my tongue caressing it to stay in bloom as my finger seduced her center to beg me to enter her inner world of ecstasy. She cried out as I succumbed to her cries as the spasms of her relief swept through her body engorging on the euphoria of my touch reaching the most sensitive area inside her warmth.

It wasn't long before I began to move faster, increasing the fullness inside of her as I moved rhythmically and deeper into her. Her responding gasps of pleasure were music to my ears. She clawed into my back with force, causing me to completely go over the edge that I had been balancing on with great pleasure. I moved in her as fast as I could without breaking her in half. She screamed and moaned my name in unrecognizable ways, meeting my thrusts midway. "Edward…I'm gonna…I'm gonna." She moaned, meeting my thrusts with more force.

A growl erupted deep within my chest. "Cum for me Bella, cum for me." I prompted, feeling my own release draw near. I thrusted a few more times before she screamed out my name louder than ever before as she released her juices all around my member. Her liquid warmth around me was unbearable and I came mere seconds after her, moaning her name out.

I collapsed next to her on the bed as we both rode out our ecstasy. I wasn't physically tired, but I felt for the first time like I couldn't move. There was a peaceful, satisfying feeling in the air and I grabbed onto it willingly.

Bella rolled over so that her face was buried in my chest. I wrapped my arms around her, pulling her closer. "I love you, Bella. I'm never leaving your side for as long as I shall live." I said, kissing the top of her head lovingly.

"I love you too, Edward. And that's a perfect idea to me." She said, kissing me lightly.

There was a short silence between us, and I took this time to ready myself for what I was about to ask her. "Bella." I spoke quietly. "There's something that I need to ask you."

"What is it, Edward?"

"Do you still want me to change you?" I asked her, looking into her deep brown eyes. Though I hadn't been to keen on the idea in the past, I wasn't about to make the same mistake twice. Bella and I were meant to me from the very beginning, and I wouldn't try to stop that now. She looked at me for a moment as if I had spoken in a different language, then her eyes lit up and she threw herself at me.

"You would do that, Edward? You would change me? Just like that?" She said excitedly.

I nodded, cupping her face in my hands to calm her. "I can't live without you anymore Bella. To live an eternity without would be torture. I wouldn't be able to survive. As selfish as it may seem, I want you always, and the only way to ensure that I do, is to turn you."

"When?" She asked breathless.

"Whenever you feel you are ready/"

"I'm ready now Edward. I want to be like you. I've always wanted to be like you." She pulled me into kiss then, and we melted into each other immediately. I tongues caressed and teased each other before I pulled away, trailing my kisses down her throat. I stopped at the crock of her neck where her pulse beat hard and strong. Venom pulled in my mouth instantaneously at the sound. The smell of her blood, enhanced by our previous activities, was intoxicating, but I knew that I would be able to control myself. We were too connected now for me to loose control.

"Are you sure, Bella?" I asked, moving so that my open mouth was hovering just above her pulse.

"Yes." She spoke confidently, pushing me down.

I bit down into her soft skin easily, her blood flowing into my mouth almost instantly. Her blood was much better than I could have ever imagined. Nothing in the world compared to the taste. It was like heaven. It exploded in my mouth, sending warmth and power throughout my entire body.

I pushed my thoughts away and focused on extracting my venom to pass to her, taking in as little of her blood as possible. When I thought it was enough I sealed the wound and pulled away.

Bella showed no signs of her pain but slight jerking movements every once and a while. I watched as my venom ran its course. Soon, in three days time, Bella and I would be able to spend the rest of eternity together.

A smile broke across my face at the realization of how close that actually was.

I had been foolish to think that could have lived without her.

Soon, my Bella, soon.

**Wow, I think that was one of the longest I've ever written at one time. I hope it wasn't too horrible! Sorry if the smut scene wasn't all that great. It was my first. Anyway, please review! Cookies for everyone that dose!**

**P.S. I LOVE good comments and comments with constructive criticism. Flame comments(mean comments) will be ignored and used to cook my ramen. Just so we're clear.**

**P.S.S Please go and check out my other Twilight story The meadow. Extra cookies if you do! **


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